The Beginning

What day was it? Was it Saturday or Sunday? None of these questions truly mattered because James was long past caring, in fact he couldn't remember the last time he truly cared about anything. It was 6:00 a.m. according to his clock and the first rays of the sun began shooting over the horizon and through his window in room 215 of the rundown apartment building. Last night had been a long night, but not unlike many others, where he had gone down to the local tavern to find answers at the bottom of every glass. Something had been different. He remembered something that had seemed out of place last night at the bar, but what was it. It wasn't the smell of the place, which by now had no distinct smell, having been covered by years of odors from various patrons and food, unwilling to be washed away. It wasn't the furniture of the tavern either, although for the first time in years there appeared to be some cleaning going on. Not that it mattered much by now anyways since the layers of grime could never be removed by now. In fact there wasn't to much to find interesting or pleasant in the tavern except for the mind numbing drinks they served in large quantities. By this time James was fully awake and began to get dressed for his morning run. He did not enjoy the company of people and so was glad to find a time when he could run without having to meet very many people. He ran several miles around town trying to remember what had been different about the night before, but at the same time he remembered a familiar feeling, one that he had tried to bury a long time ago. Once James got back to his room he unlocked the door and headed two rooms over, straight to the shower. There was nothing fancy in his apartment, just a few pictures hanging from the walls, a tv (which by now had lost most of its appeal), a table in the kitchen, and a few other pieces of furniture. James stepped into the hot shower glad to feel the pulsating heat from the shower head on his back and stepped out fully awake and refreshed. He went to the kitchen and fixed himself breakfast, but he didn't feel like cooking so he made cereal. Then it hit him. He remembered what had been so strange and yet so familiar the night before. He remembered seeing her...

Trust and Love

There's no such thing as a person you can trust. Human nature dictates that we are completely selfish creatures. If someone wants to no more about you, ultimately they must have a hidden agenda. Whether it be for the benefit of their own knowledge about you or so they can use it against you, either as blackmail or so they can spin their own thoughts to their friends. If you want to be able to trust someone, you can only rely on yourself. Opening up to someone else only shows a sign of weakness to that person and they will use that against you. It is not worth the risk of being betrayed by someone you thought you could trust, only to find out that they had completely ignored the importance and truth of what you had told them. Those who speak of the concept of love and how you must trust those who you love, don't truly understand the nature of love. There is no truth to the saying it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all. To speak thusly, you show yourself to be incompetent, and not capable of understanding what it truly means to be able to love someone. Your only options are to harden yourself against the world or to continuously fall to those who you thought you could trust.